Posted by: Patti Dickinson | 07/10/2017

Too Much Baggage


19100816We humans are a funny breed. Take a reasonably intelligent person and give them a suitcase and watch them try and jam a “carry on” into a too- small overhead airplane compartment. And try repeatedly to slam the compartment door on said suitcase, despite the fact that it’s hanging out of the bin.

It’s probably appropriate at this point to acknowledge the infinite patience of flight attendants everywhere, who stand by and watch this ridiculousness, when I want to hop out of my seat and scream, “Seriously?   Are you trying to mash that too-big suitcase into too-small a space, meanwhile holding up 200+ passengers all trying to make their way down the aisle while you continue this exercise in futility?” Or “That monster suitcase isn’t a carry on, fella. That’s big enough to hold a medium-sized elephant. It won’t fit in the overhead.”

Airplanes provide such good people-watching opportunities. But I am always taken aback when the person in front of me decides that they are going to forgo the “upright position” of the seat and slam it backwards into a recline, in effect, putting their head in my lap. Really? Could you move your head a little to the left so that I can put my food tray down?

Or the guy in Row 6 who bounces out of his seat before the seatbelt sign goes off, grabs his carry on and manages to be the first one off the plane. Did he miss the how-to-line-up tutorial in Kindergarten? I bet this clown has no idea how to conduct a successful “merge” on the highway, either.

Or how about the person who decides it’s time to use the miniscule restroom when two flight attendant-manned carts are in the aisle, distributing drinks.  Can’t you hold it?

And those little bags of peanuts? Five of those would make a nice snack. And the packaging grates on my environmental sensibilities. That’s lots of foil for the landfill.

And how about the guy who has the aisle seat and instead of standing to let me get to my seat, angles his legs about four degrees so I have to come as close as I will ever come to a lap dance to get by him?

I could just slap half the humans boarding the plane. Why is it that flying seems to bring out the absolute worst in people?

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Responses

  1. I love your writing Patti but I found this one might be my favorite. I was a flt. attendant for 29 years and appreciate your sympathy. Airline travel has gotten so uncomfortable and difficult. I like you am a people watcher. On layovers at an airport, that is what I did to pass the time as well as amuse myself. Thanks for a great little story.
    Carol Odasso


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