Posted by: Patti Dickinson | 06/29/2018

Not Funny MapQuest

Road map

Road map

I was born without a shred of a sense of direction.   “East” and “west” are useless to me.

But up until now, I have always been confident getting behind the wheel of the car with MapQuest directions.  So it was on Wednesday morning at 9:00.  An eye doctor’s appointment.  The doc had recently moved her office, so I employed my go-to navigation assist.  MapQuest.

Everything was going along just fine for about the first three miles.  The instructions got me out of my neighborhood and onto a major cross street that would take me to I-35.  I merged flawlessly, and stayed in the right-hand lane in order to exit onto US 69.  So far so good.  Now I am careening along at 60 mph,  until— what the heck!!!  The next instruction said, “Take the exit”.  TAKE THE EXIT????  WHAT EXIT?

Rather than cause a fatality trying to make sense of the non-directions, I exited. And for those of you that don’t get lost, that know the four cardinal points and know where they are, that don’t need right and left to get them places, you don’t, nor can you everunderstand what it like to be directionally challenged.  I had 23 minutes to figure this out.

So I resorted to the GPS.

But this GPS is so finicky, it was absolutely useless.  It wouldn’t let me get from the street number to the street name.  Dead in the water.  Sidelined.  Stalled. A potential ophthalmologist no-show. I pushed “enter”.  I pushed the arrows.  I started over eleven times.  I checked to make sure I had the right part of the country loaded into this ridiculous gadget.  I pulled the manual out of the glove box, but it was the thickness of Webster’s dictionary, so I threw it in the back seat.

So I continued to drive. And miraculously, the street I was looking for was there.  Right there. I found it without MapQuest. Without GPS.  With only exasperation, with white knuckles. Without the radio, because isn’t that what we all do when we are lost, turn off the radio?  I found the street.   Without any of the accoutrements that our society has at its fingertips.  Right there.

Kind of ironic. Searching for the street on the way to the ophthalmologist. I aced the eye chart too.



  1. Loved this. Know it is a true story. Happens way too often. I don’t even know how to set mine up/ less stress. Congrats on both, getting there and acing the test. A bonus day!!!!!

    Thanks for sending this. I miss your everyday happenings. I have identified with so many things that you have written. At one time, I thought we were married to the same man. HAH!!!! HAPPY FOURTH!!!


    • I don’t think there are words to tell you how much your words mean. Sometimes in life we “meet” someone that we feel could be a good friend, given different geographical circumstances. You are a kind soul. I hope you are doing well.

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