Posted by: Patti Dickinson | 02/24/2019

“The Bachelor”….Please, just get a room

_My template small ccI’m probably one of the few who has never seen “The Bachelor”. It’s a two-hour long television show. I watched it.  Once. And that’s two hours that I can’t get back.

The premise behind the show, a once-a-week-for-seven-weeks series, is the lucky bachelor gets his pick of somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty bachelorettes who are wined and dined, hoping to be chosen by this single guy. Each bachelorette should bring their best game. Girls are eliminated each week. And the one girl left standing gets him as the prize. That, according to the rules of the show, should result in an engagement.

First of all, anyone who gets engaged to someone, anyone, after 14 hours is an idiot. The Bachelor, filmed in exotic destinations is nothing like real life because neither of the two has seen each other with the flu, untangling Christmas lights, arguing about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, trying to wallpaper a room together, or going to McDonald’s drive-through and ordering a plain double cheeseburger, only to get home  and find it slathered with ketchup. That, my friend, is real life. The gritty stuff. The annoying stuff that makes you grind your molars together, that is part of living together day-after-day. For years. And decades.

There is a lot of backstabbing. Lots of girls running to the bachelor with the dirt on the other competitors. Mean girl stuff. I mean this is drama on steroids. Certainly bringing out the very worst side of these women.

But this bachelor has it pretty darn good. Passionate kisses with each woman. Sometimes within an hour of each other. He proclaims his go-to line, “I think I’m falling in love with you” with appalling regularity. Yuck. Disingenuous at best. Morally bankrupt at its worst.

And the women. Mostly in their early to mid-twenties. Barbie dolls. Mostly blond. All with fake eyelashes and plenty, I mean plenty of cleavage. And the desperation just oozes. They grovel and say ridiculously syrupy stuff. I think every one of them said “I feel very special” in a whispery kind of trying-to-be-sexy voice at some point in the show. Special? When there are nineteen other girls waiting in the wings, ready to lock lips with him? These girls are willing to do whatever it takes to win.

I have to wonder what kind of lame logic anyone of the contestants has. The bachelor is certainly being duped. How in the world can he think that all twenty girls have fallen in love with him in seven weeks? If so, the statistics are definitely running astronomically in his favor. And the women? A five percent chance of winning. Putting herself out there, allowing herself to be manhandled in front of millions of people for those odds???



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